July 18, 2022
Thirteenth Diamond Pepes Company ReportNFT
My my my, with two weeks since the last Company Report CEO hears his beloved readers crying:**
**“Oh, Mr. CEO, The Most Esteemed, my moon and my stars, my angel, my love, my world, my everything… don’t tell us you have forgotten about your pretty pets”.
Please, darlings. CEO does not spend a single day not thinking about his little beans and all the marvelous things you must have been doing in my absence. Alas, CEO has found himself caught up in a bit of an artistic mood as of late. Some of my lovely followers may have seen a number of threads on the ol’ Bird App where offers of CEO-drawn Nu Pepes were fluttering around. Pictured below is a little collection of masterpieces that CEO has drawn in the previous few days:
“My God… Mr. CEO. What can’t you do? You are so very handsome I love you so much!”
Oh? My dear Employees. I love you too, but let’s be maintaining those professional boundaries
For too long administrative updates have just been CEO stretching out a half page of actual information across multiple Company Reports to maximize content - this is why CEO gets paid the big bucks.
This changes now.
Gen 2 Mint
This week, CEO has something legitimately exciting to share. For those that like to read our dear intern TZ’s online journal, you may have glanced upon a little entry that caught your proverbial eye.
Oh? Intriguing. What could he possibly mean?
Whilst the exact details of Gen 2 mint is not yet fully confirmed, the general logic has been largely decided.
CEO leaves you with a little riddle of his own:
Read the chain, people!
Gen 2 UI
Whilst we have had snippets of the Gen 2 dueling UI in various Company Reports, we are yet to see all the little sections in one place. This will be a little whirlwind tour through the main pages you will come across.
The main page of Gen 2 (so-called “Duel Pepes”) will show at the top your active and recent duels (essentially your personal duel history) followed by all duels (duels opened by opponents that you can challenge).
The “Your Active and Recent Duels” section is simple to navigate, allowing you to browse your matchmaking history with ease. The “All Duels” section is also very simple - select a deplorable little nugget you would like to battle, click the ‘duel’ button, select your moves, and match their wager.
How does one duel, I hear you ask? Well, that is also VERY self-explanatory but CEO will leave it up to a future Nutorito Explainer to go through step by step how to use the Duel Pepes UI.
Things to Follow
Diamond Pepes does have a lot of events on the horizon which will require some light reading to fully grasp. Here is a short list (not final) of little explainers to expect in the near (by Gen 2 terms) future:
- Celebrity Smackdown Explainer
- Community Bracket Bet Explainer
- Duel Pepe UI Explainer
- Gen 2 Mint Explainer
A hubba, a bubba, and a boogaloo,
Reports aren’t complete without achievements from you.
Achievement of the Week
To spice up Diamond Pepes achievements, CEO will be producing 1 (one) high quality GIF for the achievement that is deemed the most outstanding in a given Company Report.
Pictured below is Riu 2.0 (formerly esteemed so-called “Riumodenton”) absolutely FILTHY achievement of 40k (fourty THOUSAND) steps in a SINGLE day.
Holy groppaeenis and boobanueenis lady, how is this even physically possible?
Congratulations to our dear Riu 2.0 on this EXCEPTIONAL achievement and please enjoy your personalized GIF commemorating this!
Can’t stop, won’t stop.
Now let’s take a look at our other incredible achievements for the week!
1. Bigbazuso taps into his maternal side
For those following along in our previous Company Report, they would have seen our lovely moderator so-called “Big Bazuso” embark on his horticultural journey.
Mission? Raise a little Venus Flytrap.
And boy oh boy was this a successful journey. What started as just a tiny little seed has blossomed beyond our wildest dreams. In a way, the Venus Flytrap’s flower embodies the personal growth of our dear moderator as he transforms from a boy to a man.
2. Emonksmellshisownass.dpx does not eat food for 20 hours
Recent market events have seen inflation skyrocket which can have dire consequences on the ability of workers to put food on the table for their families. Through incompetence, short-sightedness, bad luck, or a combination of the three, the flow-on effects of government monetary policy decisions has not been without consequence.
In the cryptographic currency space we are blessed with the ability to express our creativity whilst discussing deep philosophical issues. However, in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, mere subsistence in the form of food and water are a prerequisite rather than ‘good-to-have’ to allow this. Remaining in this space without recognising the aforementioned struggles demonstrates a glaring disconnect between the bubble we live in and the realities of this cruel, dark world.
Our dear darling Emonksmellshisownass.dpx recognised this disconnect and has gone on a so-called peaceful protest against our broken financial system. By forgoing basic subsistence himself, he hopes to show those of us that have been fortunate enough to not be materially affected by recent market events what it feels like to see one of our own suffer.
Glory to the people, my pretty pet.
3. Esteemed Employee of the Month Flipwaan creates art
Just last Company Report, esteemed Flipwaan was awarded the coveted Employee of the Month award for June. Whilst we lauded his 8-bit art style and exceptional cooking skills he recently proved that that is not where his talents end.
For those of our readers that are avid “Stranger Things” fans, you would have immediately recognised this masterpiece of copyright infringements.
Please feel free to watch the entire clip here: https://twitter.com/DiamondPepes/status/1545552399204782080
Klowneenis indeed, esteemed Flipwaan.
4. Brimarma does some nerd shit
Whilst some of our darling Employees demonstrate immense athletic prowess by pushing 40k daily steps or PRs on bench that would make a sasquatch proud, our favorite OnlyFans superstar so-called “Brimarma” recognises that the most important organ of an athlete is not their muscles but their mind.
CEO is not going to pretend he understands a single part of this little snippet but will assume it is an outstanding achievement. On that note, a huge congratulations to our dear Brimarma on this incredible achievement.
5. CEO wins a competition
With all the competition that one might see in the cryptographic currency space, there has only been one that the CEO has ever entered. For the past few weeks, our lovely friends over at Anata, an NFT project that features splendid anime-esque art, was holding a competition where community members could submit art detailing their upcoming so-called “breeding event”.
With absolute ease, CEO sent the submission above and completely wiped the floor with his proverbial competition.
With a 100 (one hundred) percent success rate in cryptographic currency competitions, there is nothing that this man (myself) cannot do.
Damn he (I’m) good.
CEO would like to apologize for the delay from our last Company Report before this little nugget could be produced. Despite his best efforts, the enticing world of artistry and GIF creation has taken up much of his attentional bandwidth as of late.
As mentioned before, please keep your eyes peeled for upcoming official communications relating to:
- Celebrity Smackdown
- Community Bracket Bets
- Duel Pepe UI
- Gen 2 Mint
As always, a booba, a groppa, and a nueenis until next time, my beautiful Employees.
CEO of Diamond Pepes
CA CFA MBA MD PhD LLM
CEO has also successfully quit so-called “nicotine” for 2 weeks now.
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