May 13, 2022

Seventh Diamond Pepes Company Report

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ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE OFFICE YES YES HOW GOOD IT IS TO BE THE CEO OF THE GREATEST COMPANY IN THE WORLD.
*Ahem*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*Takes a deep breath*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MOMMY MAKE IT STOP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*Coughs*
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Administrative Updates

After much deliberation, Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. has decided to postpone the Gen 2 mint indefinitely given the atrocious market conditions and immense gas fees. In addition, given that the Gen 2 pledgers receive a portion of Gen 2 mint revenue, postponing the mint will allow a more favorable return for those beautiful sacrifices.
We understand that this is not the outcome that anyone wanted but my interns will continue toiling away with the dueling UI and Pepezukis to ensure that all releases are up to our highest standards.
*Ahem*
MOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
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Achievements of the Week

1. Operation ‘Black Swan’

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As is typical of any Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. (due to our close relationship with so-called “Dopex”), the build-up to our anticipated mint resulted in a market-wide sell off of the entire cryptographic currency space.
Nearly $300 billion wiped off the face of the cryptographic market cap? Operation ‘Black Swan’ is in full effect.
Our original intention was to decrease the value of Ethereal Dollars so minters would be able to acquire Gen 2’s for a cheaper fiat price. Once again, Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. has truly outdone themselves.

2. Operation ‘Mommy I am a broken man’

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With the anticipation for Gen 2 mint at an all time high, what better way to assert my authority as the CEO than to subvert expectations and delay Gen 2. Please take a moment and scream with me.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

3. Operation ‘It is what it is’

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Caption related, pic related.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

4. Operation ‘Rekindled Friendship’

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With all that’s going on in the world, at least we have each other.
Friendship with Sami’s has been reformed indefinitely. CEO can use as many hands to hold him as possible.

Parting Words

*Ahem*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*Splutters*
LIFE IS SUFFERING
As always, a booba, a groppa, and a nueenis until next time, my beautiful Employees.
Yours faithfully,
Nutoro
CEO of Diamond Pepes
CA CFA MBA MD PhD LLM
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WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
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About Dopex

Dopex is a decentralized options protocol that aims to maximize liquidity, minimize losses for option writers and maximize gains for option buyers — all in a passive manner.
Dopex uses option pools to allow anyone to earn a yield passively. Offering value to both option sellers and buyers by ensuring fair and optimized option prices across all strike prices and expiries. This is thanks to our own innovative and state-of-the-art option pricing model that replicates volatility smiles.

📱Stay Connected

Follow our official social media accounts and visit our website to stay up to date with everything Dopex.
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🚨IMPORTANT

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