July 18, 2022
Fourteenth Diamond Pepes Company ReportNFT
As CEO is sure his beloved readers are well aware, every Sunday he likes to go on a little trip with his BEAUTIFUL lady friend. Last Saturday, the two little lovebirds had cooked up a plan to go on a zoological adventure to the local reptile park. In preparation for this date, CEO took the liberty of playing 5 hours of non-stop video games ending at roughly 3 am to ensure his senses were at their peak for his date the following day.
Lo and behold, CEO stumbled to the abode of his lover 30 minutes past the pre-organized times.
Not to let this minor hiccup disturb their little trip, CEO and his BEAUTIFUL lady friend made off with haste towards the location of this so-called “reptile park”. After a nice, scenic 1 hour long drive through sprawling pastures and splendid farmland abundant with all their favorite livestock (cows, of course), the couple found themselves at their destination.
What the diddly duddly duck.
This was not at all the reptile park the pair had planned to go to. CEO (as the man of the relationship) said:
“Fret not, my radiant angel, allow I, Nutoro, The Most Esteemed Boyfriend of you, Ms. Nutorita, check out what the devil has gone on here!”
Would you believe that the CEO had in fact mapped the completely wrong animal destination.
Correct destination? What would have been a 1.5 hour trip from the original location was now a 2 hour trip from here.
CEO and Ms. CEO decided to go cow watching instead.
Yeah righteo lads, let’s get these pesky Administrative Updates out of the way!
Welcome: Our Nu CMO
It is with great excitement that CEO announces that Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. has successfully hired our first new C-Suite Employee.
Who, we hear you ask? Well let’s take a look at this cheeky little visual introduction.
That’s right, people.
Our beloved intern so-called “Bulma” has now been promoted to CMO (Chief Mommy Officer) of our beautiful Company. With her comes some exciting little things that we aim to integrate with our Gen 2 mint as well as general top notch community activities.
Employee of the Month
Every so often, Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. is greeted by new individuals that are highly ambitious, talented, and take the Company by storm. Whilst the esteemed 0xMinistry (0xM) is not one of these, he has been graciously given the prestigious title of Employee of the Month (July) for his fine collection of absolute monstrosities.
For those that frequent the Dopex Discord (and for those unfortunate to cross paths with some of our members in other Discords), you may have seen some of these lovely pieces:
Imagine you spend your life looking how you look and then some bloke comes in with some photoshop and makes you infinitely better looking than you ever have looked, currently look, and ever will look.
That’s what we call the Nu effect.
You know people that self love is the key to confidence and that confidence is the key to success?
It’s no wonder that CEO is the most successful person that has ever graced this planet.
God I’m good at the things I do.
That’s right - the man behind this monstrosity was not your beloved CEO but the conniving 0xM.
CEO is going to end on this note for the sake of the remainder of esteemed 0xM’s dignity.
A warm welcome to this new member of the Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. community and a huge congratulations on achieving Employee of the Month status in such a short time frame!
My my my what an INTRIGUING series of updates - Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. is definitely gearing up for our Gen 2 launch. With these administrative updates out of the way, let’s make our way through the splendid achievements of Diamond Pepes
Achievement of the Report - Miso becomes a budding mechanic
Whilst the majority of the Company’s achievements consist of waking up, walking >1k steps, or generally being alive our favorite neighborhood Sappy Seal Mr. MisoSoup has come and shown us that’s not all that Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. excels at.
This is TRULY one exceptional transformation and the CEO is humbled to be extending the Achievement of the Report award to our dear darling! Pictured below is your CEO-created GIF detailing your incredible achievement.
Onwards and upwards, Employees.
Cryptographic Currency Bunny makes a killing buying IROs
With the recent release of Interest Rate Options (IROs) on the Dopex platform, it has been an intriguing journey of experimentation as users work out how to apply this innovative product to their investment strategies.
For those unfamiliar with Put IROs, they allow the purchaser to receive the strike rate whilst paying the floating rate on Curve pools. Due to a series of unfortunate (or fortunate for Mr. Bunny’s case) events, the floating rate of the pUSD-3CRV pool was far lower than expected. Since Mr. Bunny was able to purchase the Put IROs at various strike rates, he was able to 10x his initial investment.
For those that want to read more about this, feel free to take a look at this introductory IRO explainer.
Omeguhh furniture shit
For those that have had the pleasure of crossing paths with our favourite Cracker Barrel Employee and coder extraordinaire Omeguhh, you will know that this is a man with a one track mind:
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I’m buildiiing!”
“Sorry bro, building”
“Bob - I mean Omeguhh - the builder”
“Can’t stop won’t stop building”
Who woulda thunk that this knack for building has seeped from the body of Omeguhh to infest his dearly beloved LADY friend. Pictured above is one of her INCREDIBLE refurbishments of an otherwise boring ol’ cabinet to a genuine masterpiece.
Keep up the incredible work, Ms. Omeguhh!
O_Gosh photoshop adventure
Pictured here is our beloved Vice-CEO, Mr. O_Gosh, having the most splendid time with his best friend Mr. Bear.
OH? What’s that?
This image is in fact photoshopped?
My god… the shadowing… the line work… the overall realism.
Mr. O_Gosh you have done it again! What an INCREDIBLE fine piece of photoshopping.
Emonkwell roasting Ax the dumb dawg
On many occasion, The Most esteemed has been the butt of Mr. Emonkwell’s ABUSIVE jokes. On this day, Mr. Emonkwell has found a new victim.
Thinking himself safe from such activities - the green aura of the Mario Brothers role giving him a false sense of security - Ax makes a flippant (also completely immature and inappropriate) remark, relating Mr. Emonkwell’s comment about size to one that a woman might make to a man during the process of intercourse.
With haste, Mr. Emonkwell flips silly Ax’s comment on his head as he completely and utterly destroys this poor Dopex Employee.
Thank you for showing Ax the ropes of #water-cooler-talk, Mr. Emonkwell.
All glory to The Company!
Oh me, oh my; another truly action-packed Company Report by Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. CEO will look to release the Duel UI walkthrough sometime this week to allow our prospective Employees to familiarize themselves with the process.
Esteemed CMO and I shall be planning some new Corporate activities for all to enjoy and are currently deep in preparation for making Gen 2 mint an incredible experience for all participants.
As always, a booba, a groppa, and a nueenis to all others.
CEO of Diamond Pepes
CA CFA MBA MD PhD LLM
*Ahem* Any Laderinoes in the chat?
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