April 24, 2022

Fifth Diamond Pepes Company Report

The blissful silence.
The crisp forest air.
The stars in the sky denser than all but those disgusting BAYC holders.
The CEO has recently come back from a 3-day all expenses paid Company trip to the valley and you’d best believe it was a truly mesmerizing experience. Oftentimes we spend our lives absorbed by the monotonous drone of merely ‘existing’.
Take a step back and look around and you will see that existence is a gift and this beautiful, complicated world is yours for the taking. Breathe it in, Employees, there is so much to be excited for!
Now, back to the boring Administrative Updates.

Wen Gen 2

In Nu’s almighty name, not this dastardly question again!
“Wen Gen 2” I hear the Employees ask. Allow our esteemed intern the beloved TzTok to answer.
Short, ambiguous, barely passable grammar - that’s the intern we know and love. 
Gen 2 mint is OFFICIALLY (most likely) scheduled for 5th of May, 2022. Mark that down on your calendar folks. This is an event that you do not want to miss out on!
 Please see below for a fine selection of Gen 2’s that you could have the privilege of receiving.

 Sailing the so-called “Open Seas”

Our dear intern TzTok has also recently watched the latest Batman (under parental supervision of course) and has taken a liking to the villainous Riddler. See below for his most devious impersonation:
Layer zero this, open seas that, someone please give our intern lessons in basic communication!
All in all, it’s probably nothing. Carry on, Employees.

Booba, Groppa,

Our Ponzinomics are WHOPPER

By Jupiter, we really need to start instating some limits on how much Report space our goddamn intern takes up.custom
That’s right, Employees, Gen 2 duelers will go in the running to share in that juicy 3 digit yield. If we consider a sold out Gen 2 then that is [a yet to be disclosed percentage of] 977.68 Ethereal Dollars farm rewards being distributed to our most active duelers!
Do your own maths, Employees, CEO did not pass 10th grade.
This is what we call a WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN situation - that is a lot of winning.
With these Administrative Updates out of the way, on to our Weekly Achievements. 

1. Nu York Compilation

By the time of publishing, Nu York week may have already drawn to a close. We would like to thank the entire Company for their outstanding support and in particular those members that made the pilgrimage to see it in person and share their footage. 
Please see below links to footage that members have so kindly shared:
Please do let The Most Esteemed know if he has failed to include any clips and he will upload them at his earliest beautiful convenience.

2. Employee of the Month (April)

His dastardly graphic design ability and creative prowess has seen his quick ascension from interior designer to Head of Media in a matter of weeks. As such, it comes to nobody’s surprise that the Employee of the Month for April is our beloved Employee #1409 (“Riumodenton” to colleagues).
Our beloved Employees of the Month will now receive 1-month access to 3 amazing benefits:
  1. Unique 1/1 ‘Employee of the Month’ role
  2. Access to the Boardroom
  3. All members of the discord must now use the honorific “The Esteemed [Employee’s Name]” when addressing them - failure to do so means a 3 day banishment to the Depths of Hell. 
Let us not forget our Employee of the Month of March, the Esteemed Omeguhh who is only now receiving his plaque. Due to the late creation of the Discord Role, for the following month you will see 2 (two) Employees of the Month. Let’s be addressing them properly, Employees.
We thank you both for your service, The Esteemed Riumodenton and Omeguhh!

3. NFT Marketplace Banner Competition

As outlined in a previous tweet, Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. has been seeking an upgrade to our previous banner that was used to represent our fine company on NFT market places.
See below for our current shortlist for submissions:
The Esteemed “Riumodenton” (2x)
Employee so-called “Seany-boy.eth” (2x)
Employee so-called “that1skter” (1x)
Employee so-called “Bulma” (1x)
Employee so-called my Favourite 12 Year old (1x)
Members of the Esteemed Board Room will be deciding on which submission receives the grand prize of 1 (one) Diamond Pepe from Treasurer so-called ‘MarioDigital’ so do keep those submissions coming.
For all those exceptional submissions that did not make it on to this current shortlist do not be disheartened. We truly appreciate your efforts and are still open for submissions until Wednesday.
Build back stronger!

Parting Words

Oh me oh my hopefully punks are satisfied after reading this crazy Company Report. An official Gen 2 launch statement will be prepared shortly so stay tuned!
Early next week The Most Esteemed will release our plans with our lovely friends, the Sami’s. Stay tuned.
As always, a booba, a groppa, and a nueenis until next time, my beautiful Employees. 
Yours faithfully,
CEO of Diamond Pepes

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