June 20, 2022
Eleventh Diamond Pepes Company ReportNFT
My my my can you believe that it has been nearly two weeks since the last Company report? And what a two weeks it has been! We are once again in the middle of a booming bull market, our portfolios are growing day on day, and Company profits are going astronomical. At the rate this is going, my commercial intuition says that we could be due for a minor drawback.
Enough about the market though. Let’s talk about the CEO. Today the CEO had the privilege of spending an entire day with his beautiful lady friend and we went on a nice little date to the movies. With some tendies that his mother packed for them, Mr. and Mrs. CEO went and saw the incredible Jurassic World.
CEO remembers the first time he was introduced to the world of dinosaurs; a world so fantastical that it is hard to picture these magnificent beasts frolicking in this land that we live in today. Mentions of the incredible “Tyrannosaurus Rex” as the proverbial apex predator reminds him of the times that he too was called a predator.
However, with the previous rulers of the land here one minute and gone the next, let this be a lesson to Employees that Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. must remain vigilant and prepare for all possible scenarios.
Asteroid on a collision course to earth? Not on our watches.
Last week we held a Company-wide trivia night that covered content from the proverbial “Dopex” which went over some of their recent interest rate option articles (here is a link to the questions and answers of last trivia night for those that want to touch up on the information).
Let’s be honest though. Interest rate options are for nerds and Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. Employees are a cut above the rest. The upcoming Trivia Tuesday will be a test of your understanding of cryptocurrencies, physics, and popular culture amongst others so you’d best start preparing.
Trivia night will be held on Tuesday 21 June 2022 at 10pm UTC so be there or be squared as they say.
Let’s pump that brainpower up, Employees!
UI this, UI that, why don’t U and I get together and have a look at our latest UI updates. This cheeky little screenshot illustrates how the duels will show up on the official Gen 2 UI, with the duelist on the left and the challenger on the right.
Here you will be able to see your dueling history, moves selected, challengers faced, and a whole host of other vital information that you can look at yourself rather than me explaining it to you. It is truly self-explanatory.
Celebrity Smackdown: Introducing Ecosystem Partner #7
Whilst the USA is built off democracy and the world economy is built off the back of Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd., our subsidiary Dopex is built on Ecosystem Partner #7.
Introducing Arbitrum to our celebrity smackdown!
Who shall be representing this L2 behemoth, I hear you ask?
None other than everyone’s favorite mad lad, the so-called “Sizable Chad”. CEO knows little of this enigmatic man other than that he shares a fancy for LAAAAAAAADIES comparable only to his own.
There can only be one man to rule them all, unfortunately, so I suppose the CEO will just have to reign supreme once again.
Now on to the Company achievements!
Before we dive into our Company achievements, allow the CEO to inform the masses that he has opened an #achievements channel in the Discord to allow Employees to submit anything that they are proud of.
Did you wake up?
Did you do 10k steps?
Did you repot your plants?
My brother in Christ, let me inform you that you are OUT THERE DOING THE GOOD WORK. So let’s get those submissions in!
1. Esteemed 12YAK captures a beautiful woman
Sometimes you wake up and think you’re about to have the best day ever. Esteemed 12YAK doesn’t think, he DOES.
Look at this cute little nugget offering his face as a place for so-called “Irene” to place her posterior.
Courageous. Ambitious. Flirtatious. This man/child epitomizes Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd’s Company values and it comes to nobody’s surprise that when he shoots, he scores.
2. dickSlappedddpx (WHOOSH, WHOOSH) takes up sewing
Do you want to be good at something or do you want to master something? That’s the question dickSlappedddpx asked himself on the 15th of June 2022 when he first embarked on his sewing adventures.
Pictured on the left is his first full-scale creation. His cross-stitching pattern and exceptional attention to detail resulted in a masterpiece comparable to our old mate Picasso.
Pictured on the right is his improvement in just a single day.
This man is out there achieving and there is NOTHING you can do to stop him from reaching for the stars.
3. Bulmeenis wakes up
Scientists claim that 117 billion people have ever walked this beautiful world. With the population currently at around 8 billion people, this means that 109 billion people have since passed away.
Pictured here is our beloved intern Bulma achieving something that 93% of the total population of humanity will never achieve - waking up.
This is an achievement worthy of a standing ovation and perhaps even a nice little plaque on a bench in a national park to commemorate the achievement.
Intern Bulma, Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. is indebted to you for your service despite your list of many achievements.
4. Flipwaan bakes a cake
Between pulling baccy cones and creating exceptional 8-bit art, who woulda thunk that esteemed Assistant Head of Media Flipwaan was also a budding baker!
In commemoration of the birth anniversary of every person’s favorite bottle-o, Flipwaan has put his culinary ability to the test with this beautiful birthday cake.
What flavor, I hear you ask? Find out next episode of Diamond Pepes Official Company Reports!
5. rLegendary Intern puts in the hard yards
At the back of any cryptographic currency project is a dedicated programmer who is working through bull and bear to solidify their knowledge, apply it, and hopefully create a kick-ass project.
Pictured above is or humble little bean rLegendary Intern who has been tip-tapping away at some so-called “coding” and has been updating us daily on his results.
Employees, let’s keep each other accountable so that Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. can maintain its position as the greatest Company known to man!
6. Esteemed Omeguhh does the needful
What Company Report would be complete without a mention of Esteemed Omeguhh, the true embodiment of Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. values.
Hit lift? Tick.
Drank coffee? Tick.
Dropped a fat log? Provisionally ticked.
Appreciation of loved ones? Tick.
Keep up the great work king, let’s kill it this week!
7. Esteemed Riumodenton (aka Poomodumbdumb) disrespects her body clock
The average adult human sleeps 7-9 hours per night, meaning they are typically awake for 15-17 hours per day. Rest is essential for proper performance - but what if this were not the case?
Esteemed Riumodenton goes above and beyond and does not sleep for an entire 48 hours. Assuming the we take the lower range (15 hours) of average adult hours awake, Esteemed Riumodenton has 60% more time to conduct official Company activities.
According to my calculations, this would result in 60% more profits to Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. if all Employees were to follow her strict regime.
Let’s pump those numbers up!
8. Ecocksmells (aka Un-Employee of the Month) reaches his step count
Healthy body, healthy mind. Legends have it that if you reach 10k (ten thousand) steps in a single day, your IQ instantly surpasses Albert Einsteins.
Putting the legend to the test, our favorite Un-Employee Ecocksmells doesn’t just reach 10k, he surpasses it by nearly 40%! How’s that newfound brainpower treating you?
Not to be outdone, Esteemed Riumodenton reveals that she has done 40k steps in a single day. At this point brah legit just get a car aye.
9. MisoSoup goes to bed
If you believe the saying that “Rest is for the wicked” then MisoSoup is a very, very naughty little man.
Getting into bed as an achievement? I’ll allow it.
CEO has also achieved this achievement multiple times but he typically goes to bed with your mothers.
10. Lyonzzzz takes pictures of wood
There is nothing more satisfying than building something beautiful with your bare hands. CEO did this by turning Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. into the greatest Company in the entire world by weaponizing his mental illness.
Lyonzzzz is doing this with a couple of logs.
Looking forward to seeing how your exceptional construction project goes, my dear. Do make sure you update The Company on your progress.
And what a wrap up that’s been. It always brings a tear to my esteemed eye to see the bounds that my Employees make in their personal life. Please do make use of our new #achievements channel if you would like your hard work and perseverance to be immortalized in our future Company Reports.
Do stay tuned in the following weeks as we reveal the rest of our Celebrity Smackdown participants and any other Gen 2 information.
As always, a booba, a groppa, and a nueenis until next time, my beautiful Employees.
All the best,
CEO of Diamond Pepes
CA CFA MBA MD PhD LLM
Honestly wearing this mask was more hassle than it’s worth
Dopex is a decentralized options protocol that aims to maximize liquidity, minimize losses for option writers and maximize gains for option buyers — all in a passive manner.
Dopex uses option pools to allow anyone to earn a yield passively. Offering value to both option sellers and buyers by ensuring fair and optimized option prices across all strike prices and expiries. This is thanks to our own innovative and state-of-the-art option pricing model that replicates volatility smiles.
Follow our official social media accounts and visit our website to stay up to date with everything Dopex.
Be careful of fake Telegram groups, Discord servers and Twitter accounts trying to impersonate Dopex.
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